would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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