Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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