The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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