I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
