Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
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