He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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