This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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