dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
