Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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