Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize