Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We had sex on a dog bed..
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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