So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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