If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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