am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she pinky promised me she was 18
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
