apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Who died my cat blue again?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
