she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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