Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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