If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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