Can Purell be used as lube?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
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