in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
