Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
