oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
