Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
