we're blogging at a bar
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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