She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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