We're like a lot better than the average bears
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
