Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
