Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Terrible idea I love it
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
