This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize