I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
