This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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