Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
