So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
whose parrot is this?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
