I like my sex mixed with concussions.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize