Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
