CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
