My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The Olympian is in my bed
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