Plan B is the new Plan A
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
farters have to be the big spoon...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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