There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
