My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
