That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
