Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
