You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
