Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
