we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
