What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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