Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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