Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize