We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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