So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
