I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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