Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
