He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
