A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
