so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
