where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
