Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize