who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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