They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he was CRYING into my vagina
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
