And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
