in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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