I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
