where am i from again
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
