And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
